I don’t want any trouble. I just want to be alone and quiet, you know, with a chair, a fireplace, and a tea cosy. I’m not even sure what a tea cosy is, but I want one. Instead, I get trouble. Which I am willing to share Buffy
  • Buffy: "Anybody besides Larry fit the werewolf profile?"
  • Willow: "There is one name that keeps getting spit out. Aggressive behaviour, run-ins with authority, about a screenful of violent incidents..."
  • Buffy: "Okay, most of those weren't my fault."
  • <p dir="ltr"> Buffy: "There was a cat. A cat here and then there was, another cat. And they fought, the cats, and then they left."<br>
  • Ford: "Oh. I thought you were just slaying a vampire."<br>
  • Buffy: "What? Whatting a what?</p>
  • <p dir="ltr"> Buffy: "I wasn't gonna use violence. I don't always use violence. Do I?"<br>
  • Xander: "The important thing is, you believe that."</p>

"Destructo-Girl, that’s me."

Buffy

  • Wesley: Ah, this is perhaps Faith.
  • Faith: New Watcher?
  • Buffy, Giles: New Watcher.
  • Faith: Screw that
  • Buffy: Now why didn't I just say that?
  • Xander: Why was your mom there?
  • Buffy: More bad, she picked last night, of all nights, for a surprise bonding visit.
  • Willow: God, your mom would actually take the time to do that with you? [Buffy looks at her] That really wasn't the point of the story, was it?
  • Xander: I wish dating was like slaying. You know, simple, direct, stake to the heart, no muss, no fuss.
  • Buffy: Sorry to say, Xand, slaying is a tad more perilous than dating.
  • Xander: Well, you're obviously not dating Cordelia.
  • Angelus: Dear Buffy. I'm still trying to decide the best way to send my regards.
  • Spike: Why don't you rip her lungs out? It might make an impression.
  • Angelus: Lacks... poetry.
  • Spike: It doesn't have to. What rhymes with lungs?
  • Xander: For a minute there, I thought you were gonna make an expression.
  • Oz: Well, I felt one comin' on. I won't lie.
  • Willow: The school paper is edging on depressing, lately. Have you guys noticed that?
  • Oz: I don't know. I always go strait to the obits
  • Xander: You know, Oz, I look at all this beauty, all these healthy young women and I wonder why I ever wasted my time on Cordelia. I mean, look at her. She's no better lookin' than the rest of 'em.
  • Oz: None of them are really my...
  • Xander: Oh, my God! He's lookin' at her. He's got his filthy adult Pierce Brosnany eyes all over my Cordy.
  • Oz: You're a very complex man, aren't you?